


Shall I Sleep Within Your Bed?

by chalametsberm



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Billowy, Feelings, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 16:31:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13791654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chalametsberm/pseuds/chalametsberm
Summary: I wrote this for Liv (aka @terxture on tumblr) because she got this in my head about what happened right before Oliver gives Elio Billowy. (http://terxture.tumblr.com/post/171246178858/why-i-dont-sleep-at-night)Anyways enjoy you sons of guns. This is a one parter that distracted me from my main chaptered WIP sorry!(Title from Mystery of Love, Sufjan Stevens (duh))





	Shall I Sleep Within Your Bed?

Things had changed. Elio didn’t want to admit this to himself, but things had definitely changed. It wasn’t so much that his relationship with Oliver had changed, but the things around him had different meanings now. 

A clock striking midnight sang a song of hope and promise. Elio’s Star of David was a lightweight reminder of who he was on the inside shining through to the outside. And, perhaps the most important change was the bed in his room. Well, Oliver’s room. Two beds. They had always been pushed together, but they meant something now. They were pushed together before because of course, a man of his stature needed to be able to spread out on two beds, how could he not? Now, it was because this bed was meant for two people to sleep in. Two souls that didn’t give a damn what Mafalda thought. Or one soul that didn’t and one that was okay enough at pretending he didn’t. 

Elio was more nervous the first night after the night than he was on the actual night when everything came to a head. The first night, Elio had slept in the bed as an acquiescence, an understanding that it was far too late to stroll all the way back to one’s own bed, it just made sense for the two to huddle together for warmth. Elio doesn’t know if he’ll ever get that excuse again. 

He was feeling sick about it, but that feeling had left him with his nose bleed. He didn’t go out that night because he had taken ill according to all the women in the house and he needed to rest. He had also trusted that Oliver would stay like he said he would. If Oliver had stayed then he would know. Elio would know if he was supposed to stay confined to his small room, the room that had the windows out to where the trip wire had been broken. Elio supposed he could be presumptuous and crawl into Oliver’s bed after he lamented to his relatives that it was far too late and he simply must be getting to bed. 

What would Oliver had done? If he had come back and found Elio sound asleep in his bed? Assume that Elio made a mistake, make the same joke that he was planning on using if midnight was not the midnight he thought it would be? Would he wake Elio up and alert him that it was the wrong address? That he had gotten confused and this was Oliver’s bed and not his. Elio could have countered with “but what is mine that is not yours, Oliver? No part of me that is mine does not belong to you in some way.” Even in Elio’s fantasies, he was deranged and desperate to join and fuse their beings together more than was ever possible. It was Oliver’s fault, in the first place, as far as Elio was concerned. He was more than willing to be a one night stand, even though it might have been awkward to continue to live with each other, but they would have made it work. 

Oliver had to say, “call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine” so that even Elio’s own name was Oliver in its entirety. Elio was connected to Oliver by something that he would possess long before Oliver and long after. That blurred lines more than anything else ever had. It took Elio somewhere he never thought he would be comfortable being. 

On the other hand, he was glad he didn’t have a place in Oliver’s bed. Even though that part stung, what immediately healed the wound was that it wasn’t just someone else that it belonged to but who it belonged to. It was Oliver’s. Elio was beginning to think that he was maybe Oliver’s, too. 

Elio ended up sleeping in his borrowed bed for the summer, his mind was racing too much to make a concrete decision, so he did nothing. He picked the third option that no one ever talked about. People always debated over whether to speak or die, but what Elio knew that it seemed like no one else did was that there was a third option, which was to feel nothing. To be suspended in space and time, that was picking the nothing option. 

The next night, Elio had had enough. He decided that if Oliver made a fuss his excuse would be that he missed the feel of his bed. He could say that his room was haunted and he just wanted to get a good night’s sleep. That was if Oliver said anything about it. Maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he wouldn’t even come home. That was a better option. It was better to not know that to see that he was with someone else. 

Oliver ate dinner with them that night. It was the first time in a while, and it was clear that Elio was not the only one happy about that. Mafalda was practically bouncing off the walls and made dinner that Oliver had commented on before in broken Italian. It was at the very beginning of the summer when everyone was still in the process of falling in love with him. 

Everyone was winding down for the night, and it was then that decisions had to be made. Elio decided that the best way to handle this was going to be to linger. He was going to linger in every room in the house until he was lingering closer and closer to the room in question. He would take a long time shaving even though there was nothing on his face to shave, and he would really look at every pore in the mirror. Not because he looked any different than he did a week ago, but because of that. He brushed every tooth, methodically and thoroughly, because that killed time before he had to decide to turn right or left in the Jack and Jill bathroom. 

Elio made the decision to go into what was usually his room. He figured if he was kicked out he could say he was looking for something so that neither he nor Oliver had to feel ashamed. When he stepped in, he could see Oliver, barely in the moonlight sitting up on the bed, smoking a cigarette. Elio thought that this was probably what he looked like after an especially salacious one night stand. He was glad that Oliver didn’t smoke immediately after they had sex, he would have felt cheap, a feeling he didn’t quite understand. There was something hanging on the corner of the bedpost, and that seemed odd, but Elio was so nervous that he couldn’t focus on one thing for too long. 

Oliver looked up and smiled. Elio wondered if he was expecting someone else to come through like this was a long line of apartments and not just their rooms connected by a bathroom. He smiled and gestured to the bed. Elio made note that Oliver was only occupying one half of the bed, even though his large frame could easily take up a huge portion of it. It was almost like he was waiting for someone. Elio began to panic, because why on earth would he be the one that Oliver was waiting for? 

“Hi, Elio.” Oliver put out his cigarette that he had just started smoking. Why had he done this? He knew Elio smoked and he didn’t need to put it out because of him. Oliver patted the bed on the side he was not occupying with any part of his body. Elio absently thought that Oliver was laying on the bed that he normally slept in, the lines between them continuing to be blurred. 

“Oliver. Is it okay that I’m here?” Elio timidly stepped to get onto the bed, but once he did, he couldn’t help but get closer to Oliver, feeling like there were magnets bringing them together. After the first time, he thought it was all over, that there was nothing more between them, but he was wrong. 

“I was hoping you would come.” Oliver had not given Elio any signs that he wanted him to come into his bedroom, nothing at all. Elio wasn’t angry, but he just wanted to understand what was going on. He didn’t know how to communicate any of his feelings, and he wanted to make things clear so he did what he thought he should do: he lunged forward for a kiss. Elio expected that it would be a repeat of Monet’s Berm, his spot that was both tarnished and made magical by the kiss they shared there. Coming up to the banks of what could have been, neither one of them being ready to dive in yet. 

Elio was too panicked to realize that Oliver was kissing him back. Oliver was kissing him back and this time, he wasn’t only matching the speed and passion that Elio was delivering, but rather, he was matching what Elio was feeling in his heart of hearts. His feelings and desires were locked in the different chambers of his heart, but he had given Oliver every key. It didn’t occur to Elio until it was too late that he shouldn’t have given himself up as quickly as he did. He had no armor left. 

Oliver was tugging and pulling at Elio’s clothes and it was everything that Elio wanted at that moment. The only other thing he needed was for Oliver to be undressed at the same speed. He just wanted to experience this and worry about the bed situation later. Now, the bed was more than a place to sleep, it was the most beautiful place in the world. The kissing was getting more intense, and finally, they were both naked. It seemed to be going in the same way it was going two nights ago, and then Oliver pulled Elio down and whispered in his ear. 

“Fuck me, Oliver.” Elio felt like he was in a dream. These were words that he had dreamed Oliver would speak before he ever knew that it was a possibility. Elio was taking charge and it made him more confident than ever before. Everything passed in a blur. Body parts and kissing and beautiful sounds coming from Oliver made Elio forget about all the stress that he was experiencing about the delicate situation between them. 

Later, they were both laying down, and it seemed like Oliver might drift off. Before he lost his courage, he leaned over and rested his chin on Oliver’s warm, strong shoulder. 

“Do you want me to stay?”

Oliver laughed and shoved Elio off his shoulder, turning to face him. “You know this is technically your room, right?” 

“It’s yours, just like everything else that is mine,” Elio said the second half of that quietly, but not even the cicadas could have drowned it out if they were out at night. Oliver heard everything. He saw Elio’s genuine expression thanks to the light of the moon. 

“Elio, I know I’ve said this before, but don’t feel like you have to do anything with me-“

“I don’t know how you can think like that Oliver. I worship you. You are the best person that I have ever met, I think.” 

Oliver looked at him like he couldn’t believe what Elio was saying. “You’re young, Elio. You haven’t met enough people to know that I am suspiciously average at best.”

“Stop that.”

“I’m just telling the truth.”

“You hate when I put myself down, but you’re allowed to do it?”

“Those who can’t do, teach, remember?”

Elio shoved Oliver in earnest, trying to lighten the mood. He had never seen Oliver so naked before, so vulnerable. “Don’t change the subject. I can’t stand that you put yourself down. You know my dad is literally a professor, right? Also, the reason you are here in our villa? I’m starting to get concerned about your memory.”

“Let’s make a deal.” 

“Oh?” Elio was scared. Deals like this didn’t tend to work in his favor. He was sure that Oliver was going to tell him that this would never happen again and that they would maintain a friendly silence until Oliver went back to the states. 

“No more putting ourselves down. It’ll just waste time.”

“Waste time?” Elio didn’t understand. This is not the direction he thought this would be going in. 

“Waste time we could be using being happy and being together in this beautiful villa.” Oliver had never been that open about his feelings before. Elio was rattled, but so, so happy. Somehow, he knew this might never happen again, and he needed to remember it. 

“Deal.” Elio reached out his hand to shake Oliver’s. Oliver took his hand and kissed it. 

Elio spoke again, after a silence that was comfortable. The sounds of the night in the trees outside were pleasant. “Can I sleep here? Just for the night, I mean. I don’t have to, I can-“

“I would love that. Sleep here every night if you want.” It was huge. It was Oliver's room because of the things he had hung up, because of his presence, because of his suitcase and his swimsuits in the closet. Because if you walked into this room, even if Oliver wasn't there, you could feel him there more than you could feel Elio. 

Elio fell asleep cuddled into Oliver with a small smile on his face. He fell asleep warm, and cozy with Oliver, in his childhood bed. Where had Oliver been in his childhood, before this summer? He couldn’t believe there was a world in which they did not meet. He refused to believe it. 

Elio woke up shivering. That scared him. Oliver had left. The daylight told him that he had slept in beyond breakfast, most likely. He saw what was on the bed, finally. It was Billowy. It had a note on it. 

To: Oliver   
From: Elio

Elio was elated. He heard Oliver talking to his parents downstairs at the breakfast table and brought Billowy to his face. Oliver had kept his promise. Elio brought the shirt to his face and took a deep breath in. Elio smiled. He was glad he broke the trip wire himself this time.


End file.
